Making A Chinese Friend

Location: Huadu, Guangdong Province, China

Setting: A small local supermarket

Time: 1725, on a Thursday

China is a big place and I'm in a very little part of it

Being stared at in China is something that I have grown accustomed to. Since I live in the suburbs, which has a very low concentration of anyone who is not Chinese, I stick out like a Panda amongst Snowmen. Actually, I stick out even more than that Panda would, as my facial hair (not at all common) and nose piercing (unheard of) make me more much more noticeable.

Therefore I was not too concerned when a young Chinese lady was staring in mine and Holly’s direction when we were queuing to pay for fruit for a ‘kids kitchen’ lesson. Our students were going to make fruit salads which necessitated an unlikely quantity of fruit being presented at the till, and it was the fruit which the lady was goggling at- not us!

What Chinese people think is odd: my beard and nose ring.
What I think is odd: This Chinese heat medicine on my face

“So much!” she said, gesturing to our purchases.

I was as startled as she was- not startled by my own shopping- but by the fact that English came out of her mouth. It really is uncommon for anyone in our area to know more than ‘Hello, nice to meet you’. Well, there’s a local restaurant owner who sometimes shouts ‘Money, money!’ at me, but she is an exception.

We explained to this wide-eyed lady that we were teachers and the goods were for school, rather than some sort of inhuman need for apple consumption behind the doors of our home. From there we had a bit of a chat and she introduced her son. It was apparent that she was as unexpecting to see a pair of us ‘Westerners’ as we were surprised for somebody to speak half-decent English. 

We talked a little and added her on WeChat before saying goodbye. In China, people use this WhatsApp copy, WeChat, all the time- everyone has it. The trend is to leave short recorded messages rather than typing them out.

As soon as I arrived home I found that I had several voice messages from our new friend. She left her address and an invitation to dinner the following evening. Well, after having been in China for 18 weeks and not making many friends, I had to accept this kind offer.

Before heading over to hers the following evening (and informing people where we were headed just in case she was a murderer- what a world we live in…) I decided to look up her name. Such was our grocery store encounter that we didn't trade names, only WeChat details. Using another app, I typed in the Chinese characters on her profile, and was presented with this:

So I was about to enter the abode of someone I did not know, who went by the name of ‘local tyrant’ or otherwise, ‘evil gentry’. Neither sounded appealing. I applauded myself for responsibly informing someone of my whereabouts. 

Yummy Chinese food

When Holly and I arrived at the apartment, we were greeted warmly by our friend who said her English name was Jennifer. Excellent news! This is a far less threatening moniker. And also there were her son, Dennis, their grandmother and a baby (who did not have an English name yet) sitting around a table of food. 

From then on, my guard was lowered and I was much less worried about being kidnapped.

The Chinese are known for being very accommodating and looking after people who are their guests and Jennifer was a great host. We ate traditional Chinese food such as Chinese chicken, steamed buns and all things fried, and discussed our countries whilst we ate.

She was also very keen to take pictures of us, which I thought was not a very common thing to do with someone you’ve just met. As Westerners, though, we were a rare find and she said she would show these pictures to her friends.

Jennifer was really interested in how we were finding life in Huadu, and I tactfully told her that it was quite quiet (rather than saying it was not very exciting and I didn’t love the smell of piss in the streets). But I think she understood that by ‘quiet’ I meant ‘dull’. She had previously been living in Guangzhou, which is the big city I was told I would be living in. (You can see from the map above that,while Huadu is technically in the Guangzhou area, it is not very near the city) Its not often that I’ve talked to Chinese people who are likewise a little dissatisfied with this area. Most seem to get on with it, maybe having never experienced anything more exciting. 

If she's going to take pictures of us I
thought, I'll do the same.

So here's our new friend getting some
heat pads to stick on our faces

I do not mean to sound judgmental, but it appears that many people have different expectations from life. Maybe the communist notions of working hard for your country being a high priority are still part of everyday life? 

Jennifer had not only cooked lovely food for us, but she was also keen to share other things she had. We talked about the Brits liking tea and she gave us some teabags. I told her that, on a recent trip to Beijing we didn’t get to try Peking duck. 

She responded by saying that her husband had just been to Beijing too. And that he had brought back two vacuum packed ducks! Well, they had eaten one and now the other was being offered to us as a gift. Of course I did  the British thing and said ‘’I could not possibly’’ but I did give in to her as I knew it was more polite to accept it.

Then we said we were going to Japan I a few weeks, and we were given some Japanese chocolates that her husband had also brought (he was a travelling salesman for Nissan). After dinner we sat down to play lego with Dennis. We discussed the differences between Chinese and English kids, but I’ll write more on that interesting topic later.

Playing Lego with Dennis

During this post-dinner playtime, Holly mentioned she had a blocked nose and Jennifer revealed she had yet more to give. This time it was a traditional Chinese treatment which could be used to relieve pain. They were sticky pads which heated up and could be put on specific parts of the body to relieve pain. I put some on my face and it felt quite nice.

At this point, more pictures were taken, of Holly with Chinese products stuck to her face. I wondered if she was selling these products and whether having them used by English people would increase their likelihood to sell. I know that may sound like my having a huge ego, but I mentioned this happening to other people in China and they confirmed that my wonderings might be accurate.

All of our gifts from Jennifer: Foil wrapped duck,
apples, tea bags, chocolates and Chinese medicine.

After a little while, and promising to get some Disney songs for Dennis to listen to, it was time to leave. I was really pleased with the evening and had thoroughly enjoyed myself. The worry that a language barrier might lead to awkward quiet points during the evening was unfounded, and we had a lot to talk about.

In the end, living in another country is about taking risks and doing things of which you don’t know the outcome. I am pleased that I stepped out of my comfort zone and came off better for it, and I look forward to hanging out with Jen and Den again.

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