Skinny Dips

In all of nature, animals swim freely in water without burden of cloth, yet humans are the only creatures who insist on wearing clothes whilst swimming. Some times I really think that we get carried away with this society thing and should answer more to our natural instincts: Nudity.

Swimming with trunks on is not right in my mind and I had to rectify the situation.

I did not swim naked here in
Santorini, despite the intention

So I wanted to get naked and go swimming during a backpacking trip in Europe. Easy.

Plenty of  hostels near the beach; ideal since pools are usually locked at night. Each night out after a few beers I tried to convince friends that skinny dipping in the sea on our way back to the hostel was a good idea. This would have been an simple plan to execute if only we didn't party so late and want to pass out by the time we were going home. (Surely not- too tired to get naked with strangers?? A poor show, I know).

Then, after two nights of inebriation and narcolepsy related failure, for the third night's entertainment we went to bars that were actually along side the beach. We could even go for a dip before it got too late and then continue to party afterwards, if we so decided. And this is why staying near the beach is always a good idea (minus the fact that sand that keeps coming out of your hair even though you've washed it seventeen times already).

So the dipping adventure was a dead cert tonight, now just time to leave the girls I was with for a quick boat race an- what, wait, why aren't they where I left them? Oh man, how long was I gone for?

Unfortunately 'drunk brain' sets in, and I realise for sure that they have gone back to the hostel. Well obviously the thing to do is to run back to the hostel to find them, that will look like an extremely smooth and laid back move sure sure. (I still stand by the fact that I did not need a phone whilst travelling- being able to contact people and vice versa is never useful...)

So I ran back to the hostel and, obviously, they weren't there. They were naked in the sea, but I'd only find that out the next morning. This turned out to be too late a time to find out. Drat! Yet I'm sure there would be other times.

There weren't. Not on that island anyway.

People often need some motivation for skinny dipping, and that kickstarter, usually, is booze. Some just love to get naked when they start drinking, which I don't understand. And I never used to be one of those people either. Not during Sixth Form when I first started drinking regularly, not during uni when I probably never went two days without having a drink, I kept clothes on. But since finishing uni I feel I've actually become more of a party-goer, and maybe more wild and less inhibited. I'll attribute it to having had a job at a school.

This sounds bad- let me finish- because I had to be so sensible, responsible, upstanding, dashing etc. all the time that by the weekend I was ready to let loose. Or maybe I've just grown more confident in myself as I've matured aged. Either way, I wanted to go skinny dipping and was not giving up yet.

Here I took clothes off and jumped off the pier.
But I did it at night when there were no kids about.
Watch out for the sea anemonies!

As well as sometimes wanting to get naked, drunk people are also often careless creatures. The first night I managed to successfully go skinny dipping, I was in Sorrento (see above) and had had a very boozy night. This can be excused- I was staying at a campsite and having a nice social drink (and a few rounds of classic game, Fireworm) with a friend from England who was visiting, plus three fun Canadians.
         It started raining, which was fine for a bit as we were under a covered area, but then the rains really came down and the wind was so fierce that the bottles of wine nearly blew away- clearly a serious problem. We had to retreat to the cabin where we could drink in shelter. We also had to wait for an hour, by which time five bottles of wine became empty.

After that, we had dinner (and more wine), and we proceeded to head down to the seafront for a swim. I initially went in with my clothes on, intelligently leaving all of my valuables unattended in my bag, before realising that everyone else was getting naked. I was happy to leave everything by the docks but one of our friends had the good sense to forego a splash so that our stuff was attended to. Otherwise, it was like we were asking to get robbed.

One of the appeals to swimming naked is that as soon as you get in you feel so free. You never realised before how much drag your trunks gave you when you swam compared to how streamlined you now are.

I am not sure how these sensations differ for girls, as their bathers are tighter fitting than our loose shorts. Never do they  worry about their swimwear filling up with air, giving an appearance akin to the inflated nose of an elephant seal in the pants. Guys you know the one. That image aside, skinny dipping is on a lot of people's bucket lists, and I understand why. As well of the sense of freedom, you get the air that you're doing something slightly risqué, even though there's nothing wrong with it (provided you don't do it in the middle of the day on a family beach or by breaking in somewhere).

"Even at this hour, I was not up for that sort of nakedness!"

Drunk people do things that their sober counterparts would not do. In a different campsite, with a different set of people, opportunity presented itself again. After closing the on-site nightclub at 3am, we were not ready for bed. The  pool provided itself as a welcome idea. It had been closed for 4 hours but a guy who was tagging along with us 'lifted' the master keys from one of the security guys. (For the official record I only found out about this theft after we had gone in to to pool, so should be treated as an innocent party here.)

We went back to our cabins to ready ourselves for swimming. I was ready as ever, wearing swimming shorts constantly whilst travelling, (not because I'm so super keen for swimming, but because they are the only shorts I had with me), but the girls had to get changed.

I went in to my cabin/tent thing only to see a room mate of mine practically balls deep in some poor girl who for some reason was subjecting herself to him even though he was a mulleted bogun (Southern Cross tattoo on left foot). He continued what can only be described as 'ploughing' his victim whilst trying to have a conversation with me, whilst maintaining eye contact the whole time.

Even at this hour, I was not up for that sort of nakedness, so I shut the door. That poor girl deserved a little more privacy than what she was currently being afforded. However, her lover continued the shagging/talking combo through the canvass of the cabin as I walked away with the girls and the key-grabber.

Now here's the thing, whether the keys has been 'borrowed' or not. I probably knew that going in to the pool at this hour would not be allowed. As I pondered this, everyone else went in, sans clothes (Why'd the girls get changed? Oh girls!)

Internal monologue:

Dion: Probs best not to go in as its after hours. Clearly asking for trouble.

Drunk Brain: Good point, but there are girls in there.

Dion: Yes- jumping in and screaming. That certainly is not their smartest idea.

Drunk Brain: ...Everyones getting naked.

Dion: Why do I even bother with you.

Drunk Brain: Ok I'll get naked too.

Needless to say that after a very short time the security came and were not impressed. They ended up throwing out one guy (turned out that he stole the keys, what!) so pretty serious business. On the plus side, the swimming naked demons were fed and satisfied.

In some posts that I have completed, I have felt satisfied, as if maybe I've explained something or transmitted a certain vewipoint or opinion. I do not feel I've accomplished things here; its been a collection of stories with no real point to them. But don't let that deter you from swimming naked.

Be free.

Next post: Warm Welcome to Winter
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P.S If you decide to go skinny dipping in France, bear in mind that kids have a half day at school on Wednesdays. You will be safe on all other weekdays at 1300, but on Wednesdays your brother may well interrupt your naked lengths in the pool. No pun intended.