Reliving Summer School

"You have to see it to believe it" or "You had to be there"

People often say this it does remain true: If you've not done it, it is hard to accurately imagine what it is like.

What goes on the McDonalds' kitchens or  within the Argos warehouse? Well my sister says that the kitchens gave her burns from hot fat, and I'll tell you that the Argos warehouse is very well organised and dusty- but not exciting. Experiencing it kills the mystery, and in those cases the mystery is the only interesting part. 

I knew little about the summer school before I began. When I was there I got involved with so much: outings, sports, cookery, crafts, mealtimes, experiments, boarding houses, and other fun activities. The enjoyment can only be realised if you're there; once you get acquainted with the summer school life that you can appreciate how brilliant it is.

As ever, me going on about how much I liked it is not terribly interesting. What would be better is funny stories of people being silly and kids being stupid. Ok then, here they are.:

The kids had their language lessons in the mornings, all sorts of activities in the afternoon and then there were big whole-school sessions in the evenings. As listed above I took part in a lot of different activities which are all fun things. But when you combine them with the unpredictability that children provide, it became even more entertaining. Take these for example:

During a science session I showed the classic Coke and mentos experiment. Always a fun demonstration of how some reactions can be extremely rapid, and a few mini-scientists even 'understood' the equations I drew of the unfolding reaction.
       One small note: just make sure your sprogs stand back when you tell them to. But its ok because if you tell a child to do something for their own good they will always listen. Right?

Oh what's that? A kid didn't actually listen and crossed the splash line? Fine by me. That's him face to groin in exploding cola and that's science, bitches! He really was covered in coke and attracted wasps for only a short time (~20 mins) before we let him go up and change.

Leaning outcomes: Following Dion's instructions can sometimes be useful.

If you don't keep a close eye,
they will do whatever they please 

Art times! Some kids are good at art, some are not, and some are offensive.

I did a blank 'Wanted' poster for kids as part of their Wild West night. There was space for a picture of the bandit, the name, catch phrase etc. The results were interesting.

Thanks for the all the hard work and slagging me off.

"Shut up your mouth and eat your shit", it says. 
I did not teach them this.

Short sightedly we did not make the kids write their own names on these nefarious posters, so that's how they got away with writing anything!

The relay race was a mad event on the first night. In the final relay of the evening, the children had to run up to the staff member (me, sadly), fire a water pistol at them, race back to their team, pass the pistol and repeat. 

          This was bound to bring them joy, and joy it did bring. What I did not expect is how nearly every member of the child population wanted to fire the water gun at my dick or aim at my butt. What is wrong with these tiny miscreants I do not know, but all I and the other leaders could do was laugh at this undeserved punishment.

As well as the odd, crotch wetting fury, meal times were another shocker. In the adult world, eating is an event where people sit down, make conversation and enjoy each others company. In kid world, a whole load of other shit goes down.
         Ketchup overload, cereal bowls flung to the floor and yoghurt all over the face are just the start of it. Its not because they are mental, even the chilled out or 'sensible' kids knock things over by accident all of the time.

There was a child called Zen (who ironically was the least calm person I'd met in a long time) who I observed wolf a whole plate of beetroot. Like the whole plate was only full of sliced beetroot and nothing that was on the plate was not beetroot. Goodness knows what colour his piss was afterwards (probably purple actually).
          I saw a dozy Chinese girl called Jackie eat an entire plate of sweetcorn, nothing else. Listen up! Kids are wild, silly beasts. So if you don't keep a close eye, they will do whatever they please. 

  Not to mention that pouring water from a jug into a cup is waaay beyond a kid's capabilities and it goes all over the table. Every meal time guys. EVERY MEAL TIME!
         
I'll leave summer school at that. For now.

Summer School Facts:           

⦁ I worked the last 4 weeks at a summer school in the countryside outside Worcester         
⦁ We had 108 students aged 8-12 from over 50 different counties.        
⦁They were here to learn English and have a good time, and there was quite a variety in how much (or little) they could speak or understand in English.

Next article: Reliving Summer School II

Previous story: Refuelling

And what post would be complete without a tale of how tiny the world is?

And now, a story of coincidence, on a global scale:

Our summer school work-experiencer, Jake, had been to Malia the previous sumer. As it tuns out, our other staff member, Luke, had stayed in the exact very same identical room as Jake, but on a different date. Madness.