Being in Budapest: Language

I moved to Budapest two weeks ago today and I am still loving it!

Last time I wrote, I talked money and my first impression was that Budapest is a strong contender when it comes to offering excellent value for money. Well, I could speak for beer at least, as that had been my main experience of spending until that point. Since then I've continued to have wonderful, wallet-friendly times, whose crowning glory on Saturday was a tasty meal at a restaurant (including wine) for £2.69.

But as my friend Sam would say, money should not be discussed. What I have been dissertating at length is language, because the reason I'm in Hungary is that I'm training to become an English teacher. Specifically a teacher to 'non-native speakers' or as I'm sure Nigel Farage (adj: meaning xenophobic) would say, 'the foreigns'.

What a funny language!
N.B not so funny when you've trying to teach it...

But let's not talk English, even though it is interesting (and was seemingly made solely to confuse non-native speakers).

What I am interested in is sharing what little I've learnt of Hungarian, as that it appears to have been made to confuse me!

When moving to a new country or even when visiting one, you have to choose: do I bother with the language or shall I fall back on the useful fact that English is the universal language of communication?

As an unsurprising yet still slightly shameful stereotype of my nation I will admit, I do often go for the easier option.

Certainly when I've been backpacking, the majority of people that I speak to aren't natives to the country that we meet each other in. They are other travellers too, who, regardless of their home country, use English as their mutual ground. So in these cases its not so terrible that I don't often try the tongue of the territory I travel.

Any takers?
Thought not.

But since I am currently living in Hungary (even though is only for 5 weeks) I feel that I owe my host country a little more effort. That was actually a fleeting idea; I only know hello, please, thank you and cheese.

And as I only interact with Hungarians when buying food or booze, I don't need to know too much, especially as you can just see what things are at the supermarket. Oh what's that big bag say, tészta? -no idea what that says but its clearly still pasta. Easy right?

Or so I thought. As I strong fan of mayo I wanted to pick some up and didn't think it would be too hard to deduce where it was. As luck struck, it appeared that Brits and Hungarians share a similar word- it was emblazoned clearly on the product that I saw and subsequently bought.

Look at the picture. Look at it.

Does that say appear to be the Hungarian equivalent of 'mayonnaise' or not? Exactly.

But I was wrong! And, of course, I only discovered that Majonezes Torna is Horseradish sauce after I dished it out on my food.

However, other than trolling (verb: internet based slang meaning, to wind up) me, the country has provided some amusement.

"Excuse me, I am in desperate need of men!"
(you'll see)

As a token effort, I might use a technique called "English phrase, odd Hungarian word that I know" in order to show I can only use a negligible amount of language.

Eg. at the whore house supermarket: "Hello, hello, I'm looking for some unsalted vaj."

Well it means butter here...

Today an elderly woman was in front of me in the supermarket queue. She had not one, not two but three bars of butter and I thought, "That old lady loves the vaj!" Which shows I can apply learnt language to the everyday situation. Great work me.

It could always be worse. Someone I know employed the very same "English phrase, odd Hungarian word" method when asking for the loo. As he is American, he looked up the word for "men's room" (rather than toilet) and went around saying "Férfiak please! I am in need of férfiak!".

This got him strange looks in a less than 100% LGBT friendly country; férfiak means men, not men's room. He only realised a few days later that as he was pottering around clutching his crotch, he had been proclaiming that he was in need of men. Way to be an ambassador to our county!

Cheese is shite in Hungary, ha ha ha!

And there are other mistakes to be made. My Hungarian friend Rita told that to 'kiss' is Hungarian is pronounced 'pussy', which might be seen as quite confusing if a Brit ever started getting hot and heavy with a Hungarian. I looked it up to try and find out the spelling of Hungarian pussy. But the Hungarian word for kiss came up as csók. At least that would be less confusing.

Actually, csók is pronounced something like choke. Now I can only imagine it being used as a come-on. "Alright love, fancy a cheeky choke??"

Seems fitting.
After the horseradish incident I wonder:
"It is all a risk here?"

And it continues. I've not even touched on the fact that most of Hungarian is unpronounceable to me or, as csók, just said in rather a different way to how its written.

eg. Cheese is sajt, which is pronounced shite!

One of the few words I do say correctly is goulash, which here is 'gwee-ash'. And that's only because Hungary's most famous dish is so delicious that I want to make sure I get what I want.

To finish, I'll remind you I have certainly made similar mistakes in the past:

I recall the very first time I ordered gnocchi and, having never heard it said before, I went for "I'll have the gon-nochi thanks". I must have sounded like a right cock. Thank goodness it was in London and not in Italy, who in my experience is not super tolerant to tourists, even on a good day.

[Example: Once, in Italy, I asked a friendly enough looking guy for help and as I could not find my hostel. Actually I never can find them. Anyway he looked down his nose at me and sneered "I'm not helping you... because you're from California!" 

I have to fancy that I sound very British, so not only was that guy a wanker but conjunctively a poorly informed one]


Actually, I say the very first time I ordered gnocchi, I actually never ordered it since...

Better luck in Budapest I hope!


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