Eggs in China: What The Heck!

Ahh noodles! I could eat them every day.

Actually, I do eat noodles most days here in China. I don't think I realised that I was such a fan until I found them being served for breakfast, lunch and dinner. With such variety that Chinese food offers, I am pleased that I am most enamoured with the most common of foods.

Noodles for breakfast

However, one does need a break from noodles sometimes. I really like eating eggs back in England, as they are so versatile: fried, scrambled, poached, omelette, eggy bread and it goes on. So in an effort to have a relaxing Saturday with some homely food I decided to make some eggs. Then the trouble started.

I'm sure it says
'Not the eggs you're looking for'
but I can't read Chinese

It began innocently enough; I was in the small supermarket picking up a few groceries and noticed these eggs that were nice and large. They were also a light blue colour which drew me in- how exotic! There was some suspicion coming from Holly's direction but I said we'd have to try new things since we're in China. I am always trying different things and its often backfiring.

A lovely comfort food for Saturday morning was to be eggy in the basket, which you may have seen in the film V for Vendetta. If not then watch it this Fireworks night. 

The bread was prepared, the pan was hot, the egg was in my hand...

I tried to crack it and, hold on... it seemed to be already boiled. My first, terrifying, thought was that this was an egg that had been allowed to grow and then boiled when the foetus reached a certain age. I don't know why I thought this, but in China it seemed more than probable.

How uneggxpected. Well I could not make egg in the basket with this, but shall I eat it? It did not look appetising and I had put myself off with the (unfounded) boiled foetus idea.

I remembered what I said about trying new things...

Looks like I was eating my words. 

I was not eating the black eggs.

I don't know what to say...
Why has this happened?

Well, even though I chose not to eat the black egg, I still had to get some good eggs. It was me who promised to make eggy in the basket and it was me who made the wrong egg choice, so off I went back to the shop.

When I arrived, my problem now was that I was paranoid about buying pre-boiled eggs. Bearing in mind I can't read Chinese, so the logical thing to do was to pick up and egg and shake it near my ear. Right? 

The first one I shook definitely felt solid so I knew it was boiled. I tried eggs from a different box. These had movement from within so they were ok! By this time the shop assistant had spotted this odd behaviour and yelled at me. Sometimes I make up the translation in my head since I never know what's actually being uttered. I decided that this person was saying "Drop it motherfucker or meet my boot!"

Message received.

Back at home these eggs were fine, so I was relieved. I am ashamed to say that I threw the black eggs away without trying them. Next time I promise I'll be more open minded.

I did attempt to use the remaining 'normal' eggs to make an omelette a few days later. The trouble was that most of them were spoiled. I had been forewarned about this by my boss at school. He said that he's been adding eggs into a bowl so he can whisk them up, only for the last one to be completely rancid and ruin the others. Instead, you should break them in a cup first and then once you've seen its ok it can go in the whisking bowl. 

Mimicking this technique I chanced upon four or five eggs in a row that were like a thin liquid inside and smelled bad after I broke them. When you hear expats saying they find living in China difficult, (and I'm sure they will if you ask them) this might be the sort of thing they get frustrated with. I can hardly go back to the shop with the broken eggs and say they were shit- you just have to grin and bear it.

For now I've given up on enjoying eggs in China, there's just too much risk of embryos, black eggs and rotten surprises... 

Looks like it back to the noddles.


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