What I Remember

[I am back in England now, of course. I did find this forgotten post, and thought I would publish it posthumously (the season's dead, not me)]

On Thursday I will be coming back to England. During the past fortnight especially, I have been really looking forward to getting back. But now that I have done my last shift with the guests I know I'll miss the place, the people ad my great job.

        I've been thinking about the start of the season fondly. Looking back on my first week from the distance of the final one is pleasant as it was a time of great adventure, yet so much has changed within that time.

When we had just arrived, we were very excited (I was so hyper but trying to keep it on the down low a little since people didn't really know me yet)- a new place to explore with friends we had only known a week. All the had to do on the first week was clean the childcare rooms and play with the toys to, you  know, make sure they weren't broken or something.

We had a great time doing art for the childcare rooms which was considered work. It was a fun way to get to know people, having a chat whilst doing some painting or cutting out decorations. Rosie and I hit it off well during these sessions, and I particularly remember her 10:01 alarm on her watch.

This meant that the first two hours of the day were out of the way and that we were halfway to lunch. I always think of her when I look at my watch and its one minute past ten now.

One of the things that our company did right for us was that they organised a 'speed dating' meet on the evening of the first night out. This gave the childcare gang a chance to get to know the hosts, who had been in resort a few days longer than us. Childcare stayed put and new host came along every 2 minutes (this was too short a time but at least we were forced to introduce ourselves and it broke the ice). For some reason I only remember talking to girls but I'm not sure if this was because there are just more girls or whether this is due to some sort of selective memory that I may have.

          I remember meeting Rachel who seemed interesting until she mentioned that she was now going to study geography at uni and had dropped the idea of doing biology. This was obviously unsatisfactory for me so she was dismissed (which I'm sure she'll have something to say about). Lara however had made the sensible decision to carry on with biology so I made a mental note to give her 'good science chat' later on in the evening.

          What was great is that during the 40 minutes we spent chatting to different people I never had the same conversation twice. It could have been a conveyor belt of: "Is this your first season, what did you do before, do you have any pets?" and all those standard getting to know you questions, but I ended up having a varied time, covering: drinks of choice, Harry Potter, Biology, past injuries and our shit accommodation.

When this was done we all went to 'Le Pub', one of only three bars in La Rosiere. There was a brief school-disco-moment where my lot were standing with each other and sort of viewing the hosts, not ready to go and talk to them yet, even though we had all just met. When we got over that then we started to have a really good time. I chatted to Rosie from childcare, plus hosts Al, Alex, Jenny and Holly from what I can remember, before seeing Lara and asking her what her favourite enzyme is (mines ribulose bisphosphate, thanks for asking).

         As we were chatting I saw a buddy of mine making friends with a girl across the table from us. He didn't talk to her for very long before he was coming over to me, just as Lara was going to the bar. He whispered "Have you got a condom?" which I obliged, before seeing him grab his coat and leave. I didn't see him for the rest of the night and had imagined success on his part, but only weeks later would the full story be divulged.

        Please note: If anything is altered then know that is by accident and has probably only made the story more interesting.

The girl, who will also remain anonymous due to the embarrassment of the story, lived within a chalet called the Landeliers, which is more often than not shortened to 'the Deli'.

"I'm in the Palace, where do you live?" he asked

"Do you want to come and see the Deli?"

"We have only just arrived. I don't know what the Deli is"

"Well do you want to find out?"

"Are there sandwiches there?"

"Erm, I guess maybe"

"Yeah I'll come and see the Deli" he decided hungrily. He talks to me and then gets his coat.

"There are no sandwiches here but... maybe I'll get some sex?"

As it turned out there was some confusion over the word 'Deli' which is often a place to get something to eat, and he accepted the offer of a tour because he was hungry.

         Having left quite early in the night they were the only ones back. A look around the chalet was granted as there were no guests staying since it was set-up week. My friend was not sure if this was a romantic visit to the Deli or not. Yes, he had been asked back, but was then being given a look around as if he was a prospective buyer. He realised that it was only a chalet and not a sandwich shop but then considered, "Well maybe I'll get some sex," (yet still hoping for food as well.)

They looked out of the window for a while, over the rolling mountains.

"Its such a good view" she said

"Er, yeah, it is a good view" he replied, hope for sandwiches and/or sex.

After the room viewing they sat down to 'talk', and some intentions became a little clearer. Some clothes came off, but then, despite being offered no refreshments as there would usually be at any open house, he needed the toilet and went downstairs.

He had a piss.

The trouble was that when he came to open the toilet door, it would not move. He tried again but there was something wrong with the lock.So he was stood there, thinking "Well that's shit". He was unable to contact his friend as he hadn't her number and despite shouting, she could not hear him on the other floor.

She got suspicious after 15 or  so minutes and found him trapped. "Oh we don't close the door here," she called, as if it was obvious. Eventually her friend came back and they had to take the lock off the door with a knife edge.

Michael explains: "I had had a boner, but by this time, it had been killed." Still, there was still time so they resumed making out and some clothes were taken off again.

He went for the fabled trouser take-off but she was having none of it. "Well I only met you for 2 minutes and then you invited me to yours so what was I expecting?" was probably the thought. Sadly this was just about the time that her other housemates decided to come back and, rather than leaving them alone they came to chat as the couple covered themselves awkwardly with a blanket.

The game was off by now, yet rather than going home, he stayed and settled for semi-naked spooning. He didn't even get a sandwich.

        Having had one hour of sleep, he came back to the Palace. We all thought that he had done well until he  publicly handed back the condom.

Actions speak louder than words!

This week I've had my last ski lesson with the children (one girl pissed in her salopettes at the top of a mountain and one was sick off the chair lift- good effort), last high tea (sad because the children were great and because high tea is so much fun anyway) and my last take to circle (my second favourite job, after high tea).

         A 'take to' is when we pick up the kids in their snow gear at 0830 and bring them to the piste to wait for instructors. Whilst waiting we sing 'repeat after me' songs and some snow rangers get in the middle of the circle to get the children going. It might not sound cool but its great fun. Parents come and watch from the windows and chalet hosts can hear our noise while they are cleaning rooms (boring!).

Lily Johnson- though she can party

Myself and Michael led the whole take take to circle and had an amazing time being the centre of attention. A highlight was when Sarah the manager suggested we do a game called 'Monsters Inc.' and me being able to say 'No!'.

Whereas Monsters Inc. is a fantastic film, the game that Sarah does is rubbish and the children find it boring. If you read this Sarah, we don't like the game at all.

We have also received tour hoodies with everyone's names and nicknames on the back. These include Michael 'Weakle' Bublé, Count Jackular, Ollie 'Spaghetti' Bell, Lily 'Slothy' Johnson and Dion 'Peeen' Bear. We are also making a season scrapbook, with the idea that everyone does a page of their liking and puts it in. I have written a page of quotes from RosQuotes.blogspot.co.uk, which are a good reminder of the first month.

I'll dwell more on the end of season later. [No longer true, as I meant to post this before I wrote 'Wax On, Wax Off' ]. 

For now, thanks for reading, all over the world.


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