Words of Mine

I was thinking recently of what I have learnt from the season, and it has been nice to reflect on it as its been quite long and varied. Its been a great experience but in fairness, I've not learnt too much.

Thanks for the makeover kids... not

I've never really had to comfort children before, as working in a school everyone is within an environment they are used to and, other than the odd bullying incident, most of my children were happy. Here though, some children cry incessantly for their parents even though they are only away form them for a few hours. It is true that they are doing an exercise that most beginners are shit at, with people they don't know in a new environment. But don't cry about it.

          I've learnt a bit about working with younger children, having been with Spritelets (3-5 years) and nursery (4 months- 3 years). Mainly its been reinforced that children like it when you act like an idiot, which I have some experience with. One child whom I got on really well with in nursery liked to bite every thing. He had a comforter which he always put in his mouth and shook his head around like a madman, and prompted me to put it in my mouth and do the same. This was considered 'work' but was not too challenging. He never cried as long as there were things to bite.

I have also had to tolerate people at work, but everyone has had to do this. I am usually fairly chilled, or at least I think so, but there are times that it gets too much. We all spaz out once in a while ad have a go at people. When it happens to me I get very angry quickly and then I clam down fast too, so often don't cause too much disturbance. 

"While it does not mean they are fat, it certainly does mean 

that they are an idiot"

Then I thought of what I have taught others. I dwelled more on this. 

           Mainly things that they are not extremely interested in, such as facts about Dinosaurs,  or useless Harry Potter tid bits. And, forgetting any work related guidance I may or may not have helped people with, I'd like to focus on various 'Dionisms' which are now part of my friends' vocabulary.

"Peen" This is an obvious one really so best to get it out of the way. I thought this was a common contraction of the popular word 'penis' but it seems its mainly me who uses it.

          Its now in good circulation around La Rosiere, with people uttering 'you stupid peen' to each other in general polite conversation. When my Mum visited the Palace, I tactically said 'She's here, put your peens away', and she commented to Finlay, "Yes, Dion likes peens", proving the matter.

"Fat idiot" People such as Ahmed Hurril, Nick Lawton and, more recently, Jimbo Hougham come to mind. You have to be careful when using this insult to people who are self conscious. They may not realise that while it does not mean they are fat, it certainly does mean that they are an idiot. It arose because calling someone an idiot is a bit plain, and needed spicing up. Be careful if you call a girl a fat idiot as they are always moaning about weight- especially chalet girls as they eat a lot during the season.

"Sexy accident!"- oh no, these things happen. A sexy accident is when you touch someone through no meaning of your own, but its in a sexy place. Its self explanatory really. You can get out of trouble by saying 'sexy accident' no matter what body part has just come into contact with your being and then nobody will mind.

          Sometimes very awkward sexy accidents happen; these involve people over 30. Last week I brushed a woman's boob slightly with the back of my hand as I was taking her child form her. As we locked eyes for the briefest of moments, she knew it, and I knew it, but of course it was ignored. I didn't say 'sexy accident' as it would have been un-professional.

"Naughty robot" is a close relative of the sexy accident. This occurs on the dance floor when you are busting out some pimpin' moves- usually a badass robot assortment- and you hit someone in the melons or maybe the snatch. Whereas this would usually be embarrassing for all, a quick justification of "Sorry, naughty robot" clears the whole matter up as a freak accident and not a lewd come on.

"Catheriiiiiine!" People hear this call, and they know to get ready to party. If you're familiar with it, you know all about it. If not, your time will come.

"Getting to know youuuuu!" This phrase has its birth in training week. Regardless of how some people complained about it, the week we spent in Les Arcs was one of extreme fun for me. Being in a strange place, not knowing anyone is very exciting. Over the week, revealing stories cropped up about different people as well as shocking info about peoples' pasts. This phrase was sung just like in that film it was in, when interesting stories were told and after a sexy accident happened. Because that's getting to know someone too.

There is probably much more nonsense that people are used to now, such as the phrases 'jizzing mongoose' and 'penis breath' but who cares.(Shout out to "Abi the butt-headed moongoose")

What was the point of this post? Who cares; the internet is full of useless information, and I wanted to contribute.

Thanks for listening, and getting a little smarter.


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